Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Another masterbation story

So I went about 5-6 days without ejaculation again.  I was really going to see how long I could go again, I was getting good feelings again (and a smell I can't explain, it smells clean and pure).  Then I started catching up with TG fiction media this morning and my urges took over.  Today I felt different, especially right after doing the deed.  I felt like my inner female was actually being pushed out of my body, as if I was silencing her (which I've talked about before).  Sometimes I truly believe I masturbate simply to silence my confused brain.

And then all day long, where I would normally have multiple fantasies during the workday but would be silenced because my urges were gone, I was still having them but they were faint.  Like imagine if you were sharing a brain with a female other half.. Sort of like that movie with Steve Martin (all of me) but for reals.  Well today it felt like she was still there, but she was whispering from 10 feet behind me all day.  It's as if she didn't ever truly leave, she was just distant.  I'm sure as I recoup and my male hormones grow, she'll get louder and louder until she pops back into my head through my eardrum.

Right now I'm almost feeling guilt, like a roommate that pays half the rent and I just kicked her out of the apartment.  My inner female has just as much right to this body my male side does.