Wednesday, June 17, 2015

transgender is in?

So it seems like ever since Bruce Jenner came out, and recently changed his name to Caitlyn (I still need to buy a copy of vanity fair), there's been a lot of my friends on facebook posting positive LGBT links on facebook.  I just saw recently that a bunch of people are sharing that story about Laverne Cox from "orange is the new black" confronting a 7-year old transgender girl saying that transgender is beautiful.  I also hate her because she's been quoted as saying "I'm not going to get feminization surgery like Jenner".  Bitch, have you looked into a mirror lately?  I don't think you need it like some people do. 

All this positive light on this topic makes me happy, but at the same time filled with anxiety.  I thumb posts like that up, but then I'm like "Oh you support that, wouldn't you like to know I am one".  But I know that I can't, at least not publicly.  It's not something I'm comfortable with revealing (and facebook is pretty much the front page newspaper for your inner circle).  I don't know if I'll ever be comfortable telling anyone besides my wife (my parents and friends still don't know about my secret lifestyle).

Monday, June 15, 2015

haven't crossdressed in months...

Literally.. Since the March posting, I haven't dressed up.  Life's been busy (especially on the weekends), urges aren't there.  So this past weekend was a little more laid back.  After getting a few things done on friday night and saturday morning, I finally told my wife around 5pm on Saturday night that I was going upstairs to go dress.  She said ok, and I began my transformation.

It was my chance to try on my wig with everything else.  I had also bought some foundation from recommendation from another TG blogger site.  Not sure if it was so magical like they claimed, felt like any other foundation (I still want to try some of that spray on foundation).  Anyway, I finished my makeup, even did eyeliner and false lashes.  Amazingly, they went on fairly easy this time (go figure).  Since making my own foam padding (butt and hips), I decided to wear my somewhat tighter club dress I bought off ebay a while back that showed off my body better.  I even wore my false glasses even though I wasn't sure what my wife would think of them (I asked her when I went down, and she really could care less.  She said if I like them what does it matter?).

I bought some cheaper artificial nails because the KISS nails can be expensive ($10/set).  I bought some alternates that were $5 each and I regret it.  First set were pink, and they came off after one hand washing.  Dissapointed, I went ahead and tried the other set (I think the same crappy brand), but these were french style and came with a small file and some alcohol to prep the surface.  That seemed to help, in fact they lasted all night and into the next morning, but the first time I used them to pry something it started to become detatched (you get what you pay for).  I even went to bed with all my makeup still on (something I don't think I ever did).  Waking up the next morning, my lashes were barely hanging on, but my makeup wasn't that badly smeared.

A few take-aways from this longer experience:
1. Dressing as a woman (at least the way I like to) is constricting.  There's fewer things you can do with the tighter clothing.  I also find myself very aware of my makeup (don't get lipstick on the straw, chew food carefully, don't let the dogs lick your face).
2. Getting ready really does take a long time.  Maybe it's worse for crossdressers than women (I'd like to believe that anyway), but it never seems like I'm in the bathroom for an hour getting ready.  Maybe I'm just so out of practice, but if I did it everyday I could get it done under 30 minutes?

Tuesday, June 9, 2015


Ok so I need to vent.  So probably like what, 10 years ago we used to be friends with this couple.  One of their halloween parties I get the nerve to do a reverse gender costume with my wife where I'm the nurse and she's the doctor.  A little bit later I reveal that I wasn't necessarily doing it for reaction, that I occasionally crossdress.  I remember getting a few teasing snarky remarks from the husband.

So fast forward a year or two, and one day the husband comes out as gay, says he's had these feelings in college, they split up and he moves to another state.  She's devastated at first, but learns to accept that he's living the life he wants.  Weird part is that she remains friends with him, and flies out to see him and his gay friends every few years.  Ok fine, lots to not understand in this world, I'm willing to accept that.  Apparently he continues to stay friends with many of the inner circle people in our group, as Facebook clearly shows over the years.  So then today the topic of makeup comes up from one of the women in the group, and out of the blue this gay ex-husband starts spouting advice (as he usually does, one of those experts of everything types).  Then, he posts photo of himself dressed in drag, and includes his female persona name?!  Excuse me, I thought you were gay not a drag queen.  And did you forget how much flack you gave me for my lifestyle choice, how dare you post that?  Funny enough, ONLY his ex-wife liked the post, and the woman posting the question said her daughter looked at his drag photo and said "Who's the ugly girl?", so I guess there is some kharma in the world.