Wednesday, June 13, 2018


You may or may not have heard of this technology.  Basically using algorithms, computers can now take face tracking from an existing video, and control the likeness of another person almost like a digital puppet.  It's been somewhat archaic for a while (it still has it's glitches), but it keeps getting better.  Best way I can describe it is comparing it to the Snapchat app where you put someone else's face on your own.  Well here's what they are presenting as the latest software at sighgraph:

Few things to note:
1. The self cleaning is getting really good, it's very difficult to tell it's being faked if processed well
2. The ability to actually move the head in realtime almost like a 3D model is impressive
3. There's a few concepts where a man is controlling a woman's face.  I don't know if this is post-processed or realtime, but the idea of having a realistic woman's face (perhaps even body) on a HD
screen where it's almost like a magic mirror is very interesting.

4. There's a thing that's been going on for about the past year which is fake porn, and it's crazy how real it looks.  I have mixed feelings about this.  On one hand, celebrities are sort of on a chopping block to be mocked, judged, etc.  It also fulfills a fantasy that perhaps many men have (note how many of them are of emma watson).   Do they deserve to have fake porn of them on the internet?  probably not.

If you're interesting I'm sure you can google it for yourself.  Here's one of the better ones I've seen, Katy Perry:

Why do I bring this up at all?  Well, I'm twisting this fantasy a bit.  While most guys would imagine themselves having sex with a celebrity, I'm imagining that the medallion of zulo exists, and I obtained a piece of clothing from a celebrity to turn myself into them.

Petite is my most desired form

I'm sure I'm not alone in this.  If I had a choice of any female body type to be, it would be very short (which is the complete opposite of what I am now).  Could it be that much like super femme female is the complete opposite of a manly man?  Could it be that a small girl is thought of as weak or easily overpowered, and most men who are typically in charge fantasize about being submissive?

Reason I bring this up, there's a co-worker who is REALLY short and cute that occasionally stops by our department.  I don't know what nationality she is, perhaps spanish but if I could describe her imagine taking ariana grande (who's pretty short at 5 feet even), then making her even shorter.  Seriously like this girl can't be taller than 4' 4" tall.  So today I'm coming back from lunch, and she's walking to our front door at the exact same time.  I look at our reflection in the glass door and I can visually see how crazy different we are in height.  All I could think about is how badly I wanted to jump into her body.

Wednesday, June 6, 2018

Payless shoes = dysphoria, and not the good kind

So I've been a little frustrated with shoe buying this past year (male, not female).  Payless stores started closing, and I was paying between $30-$40 for shoes that don't last.  Now granted I'm a big person, and I don't have high expectations for shoes in that price range.  However, it's not like I'm working construction.  We are talking about dress shoes that see maybe 2-3k steps per day, and almost always the seam between the sole and the upper half starts to split, and no amount of glueing keeps them together.  So for the past maybe 9 months I've been buying my shoes on Amazon.  I figure if I'm going to pay that range, I might as well get a "little" better quality, and have them shipped directly to my house for free and pay minimal tax.  The first 2 pair worked out decently, maybe lasted a little longer.  Comfortable, about what I expected.  Well I tried a different pair this last time, and they fit like crap.  I assumed they just needed to break in, nope.  Month later I couldn't take it, I bought those Dr Schol's inserts, still hurt.  It's not the bottom of my feet but my toes.  Between getting pinched from the sides, and having too much space in the wrong areas (which means my toes are rubbing all day) it feels like knives stabbing my toes by the end of the day (I literally have red marks).  Wearing double socks sort of helps, but only marginally and I think it's ridiculous to go to that extreme.

So yesterday I look around my local grocery store, yea nope nothing past a size 13. Today I stop at a famous footwear, yea nope a few 13's, maybe one pair of 14's I'm not interested in.  So I bite my tongue and go back to payless.  First off, this store is incredibly cruel to someone like me.  I'd say easily 85% of the store is geared toward women, the men's shoes is like half of one side of an aisle.  They have a couple pairs that sort of fit, I end up going with what look more like a sneaker but they are ALL black so I'm hoping I can pull it off at work even though they aren't technically dress shoes.

Here's where I fall into a depression, a woman starts browsing around for shoes, and just happens to be looking around my section.  All I could think about in my mind is how lucky she is to have small feet and can literally buy a shoe based on what it looks like, not go "what shoes do you have my size in?".  And I'm talking about mens shoes, I'm not even talking about women's shoes.  Pheh, I'm lucky I can find women's shoes online in my size.