I'm still shaking.. So I knew the 8" long tube wasn't working out, so I took the plunge and chopped off 4-5 inches off of it, just enough to stretch over my tip (I'm a grower not a show-er). Did a quick test without putting them on, seemed like it was working but I think having them on would help keep things tight. Probably shouldn't have stood to test but I wanted to see how it was flowing. So I wore them for about the past 3-4 hours, waiting for my urine to build up again. I sat down, biased towards the back of the seat, leaned over.. felt the pressure build up, saw some of the precum dribble at first (yes, this apparently turns me on), then it started to come out. A small stream of pee started to shoot down. After about 10 seconds of that it faded away, and I had to let my body build up the pressure again.
The second pee was stronger, it felt.. real. I just stared down, seeing the pee stream come out like a woman, seeing my flat front with no bulge.. more importantly feeling, good.. normal.. Then the emotions hit me, and the crying built up until I was a sobbing mess crying on the toilet for about 5 minutes straight. It started out with the though of "Oh my god, this is what it feels like to feel normal in my own skin", and I need to clarify that because I don't feel 100% uncomfortable in my male skin, but I definitely don't feel more than 50% comfortable. I can remember as a kid hating baths, seeing my ball (yes, I either have one testicle or combined testicles) float in the water. To this day, I still absolutely hate my ball being played with by my wife and she doesn't understand that at all.
Now the second wave of emotion, the reality of what this means. I had opened up pandora's box, and once it's opened it can't be closed. I knew I liked wearing these panties around the house because of the flatness and feeling of having hips, but this was on a whole new level. I liked having a vagina, I still do. How was this going to change my life? How far am I going to take this? Am I going to want to transition? How is this going to affect my relationship with my wife?
I've actually been watching a lot of videos.. watching transgender women just talk on chaturbate (yes, some do have conversations and don't just masturbate). Many of them talk about how even though it's much harder to get an erection (and maintain it), they wouldn't want surgery for multiple reasons. Doctors are hacks, you'll lose feeling, that the penis doesn't make them any less of a woman, etc. I gotta say, as much as I like the feeling of ejaculation, I've been having some fun with vibrators lately and not cumming isn't the worst thing in the world. The buildup can feel almost as good.
So I don't know what to think at this point. I guess I keep exploring the silicone panties and see where it goes. Maybe that's enough to satisfy me? All I do know is that wearing these should be a requirement for anyone even thinking about transitioning, it's about as close as you can get to having a vagina without having surgery.
The second pee was stronger, it felt.. real. I just stared down, seeing the pee stream come out like a woman, seeing my flat front with no bulge.. more importantly feeling, good.. normal.. Then the emotions hit me, and the crying built up until I was a sobbing mess crying on the toilet for about 5 minutes straight. It started out with the though of "Oh my god, this is what it feels like to feel normal in my own skin", and I need to clarify that because I don't feel 100% uncomfortable in my male skin, but I definitely don't feel more than 50% comfortable. I can remember as a kid hating baths, seeing my ball (yes, I either have one testicle or combined testicles) float in the water. To this day, I still absolutely hate my ball being played with by my wife and she doesn't understand that at all.
Now the second wave of emotion, the reality of what this means. I had opened up pandora's box, and once it's opened it can't be closed. I knew I liked wearing these panties around the house because of the flatness and feeling of having hips, but this was on a whole new level. I liked having a vagina, I still do. How was this going to change my life? How far am I going to take this? Am I going to want to transition? How is this going to affect my relationship with my wife?
I've actually been watching a lot of videos.. watching transgender women just talk on chaturbate (yes, some do have conversations and don't just masturbate). Many of them talk about how even though it's much harder to get an erection (and maintain it), they wouldn't want surgery for multiple reasons. Doctors are hacks, you'll lose feeling, that the penis doesn't make them any less of a woman, etc. I gotta say, as much as I like the feeling of ejaculation, I've been having some fun with vibrators lately and not cumming isn't the worst thing in the world. The buildup can feel almost as good.
So I don't know what to think at this point. I guess I keep exploring the silicone panties and see where it goes. Maybe that's enough to satisfy me? All I do know is that wearing these should be a requirement for anyone even thinking about transitioning, it's about as close as you can get to having a vagina without having surgery.
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